I could barely sleep last night and was utterly tired in the morning, I am so fucking cooked guys.
I'm starting school tomorrow. I really don't wanna, this year is going to be super busy and stressful, just so many projects to worry about man. I will also have to do university research to see where I want to study and actually send application to those schools, and I'll have to make a portfolio for that. I tried doing more works for my artclass so I would have less to do during the year, but I wasn't happy with any of my ideas for artworks I haven't started yet and eneded up only making two. It wasn't mandatory, so I won't get in trouble, but it sure as hell would've made things easier. I'm also going to have my exams at the end of the year, my mock exams went ok last year, so I will most likely pass all my exams, but I'm still really scared. I spend most of the summer doing work on projects which I was assigned over the break, but I still managed to have som break time. I guess that my main regret is that I didn't have the opportunity to watch more movies. I love trying to watch as many films as I can during longer breaks at school, but I couldn't do so this summer and I sure as hell won't during the Christmas or Easter breaks. I only got to watch K-POP Demon Hunters, Sinners, and Dead Poets Society this summer, which are all good and I'm happy that I did see them, but it could've been more. My main plan for school is to study systematicly and turn in everything in time, and I will, without a doubt, be fine.
My dad recently travelled to the US for business related stuff and got to see Lady Gaga perform. I really jealous of him, I'm not the biggest monster or anything, but I still love Gaga and her work and the current tour is absolutely amazing. He actually once asked me if I wanted to go(he didn't mention the concert he probably got the tickets later) and I said no because I didn't feel like flying 6-8 hours to a country that don't care to visit at the moment(especially with all the shit that's happening in there). He still recorded most of the concert, and I guess that I'm not extremely jealous and I am happy that he got to experience something so cool, he even said just how amazed he was by her performance. Anyway, at the moment I'm concerning myself with finishing up my school work I was given over the summer, I'm stressed and tired, but I can't just not do the work so what can you do really. While not mandatory, I was hoping to make multiple projects for art so I'll have less work during the school year, but I only finished two so far and I just feel frustrated when I brainstorm my other ideas. Like I have so many concepts of what I can do for art, but don't feel happy enough with any of them to actually start making them it sucks. I suppose this feeling comes from pressure to get a higher grade, as I really want a high grade from art cause I want to go to artschool and my teacher said that I need to become better at making more conceptual artworks with higher quality techniqual skills. I just hope that everything's gonna be alright.
I had a dream last night where there was this TV show which I was a huge fan of, it was about people being turned into vampires like there was this vampire woman who turned a group of people into vampires and those people started turning others into vampires and the survivors had to fight them off. Except all characters in the show aside from the woman were members of popular rock bands, like those guys were just playing themselves in the show. I remember Green Day members being there, MCR members too, Rivers Cuomo was mentioned at one point. I just think that the dream was funny and I was a little disappointed when I woke up and realised that this show doesn't exist.
Last week sucked for me. I just constantly felt tired and not satisfied with the things I was doing, and I constantly worried over the work for school that I have to do over the summer. I'm still worried about this stuff which just makes me feel very anxious. This week was a little bit better, cause I was busy with work could not think about this stuff for a while, but whenver I did get a break from work the worries about school would come back again. This made coding less enjoyable for me, I still love it, but I just feel stypid sometimes over spending too much time on it. Right now I'm feeling a little sad that I have to go back to worrying and work after seeing Green Day, like I wish that I had more time to relax and not worry about anything. Speaking of which, I SAW GREEN DAY FOR THE VERY FIST TIME LIVE HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO GOOD THEY ARE SUCH AMAZING MUSICIANS AND BILLIES SUCH A COOL FRONT MAN HE'S SO CUTE AND FUNNY AND CHARMING AND I LOVED THE MUSIC I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I SAW THE BISEXUALS LIVE WITH MY VERY OWN EYES AAAAHHHHH THAT WAS SUCH A AWESOME NIGHT I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVED IT AHHHHH.
I want to play Deltarune, but I have studies, but chapter 3 and 4 are coming out in few days, but I need to make art, but I am going to completely ban myself from social media so I won't experience any spoilers, but I have been slacking off on some important school work in order to study for the exams and now I have to catch up, but I need to replay the chapters, but I have work, but I want to play Deltarune, but I have work, but I want to play Deltarune, but I have work, but I want to play Deltarune, but I have work, but I want to play Deltarune, but I-
My exams for this year are finally over, It feels nice to finally not have so much stuff on your head. I finally have more time to make art and code. I think I'll prioritise art, but I did fall in love with coding this website, so I'll make sure to do it as much as possible too. I decided to try and get back into reading comics. I love it, but I didn't do it as of late due to being busy and feeling depressed. The only comic/manga I've been reading as of late is CSM, which I love and do enjoy reading, but I want to read more. My current my plan for this site is to make it look scrapbooky, that means adding my own drawings, photos, stickes and just random decorations. I also want to make a shrine dedicated entirely to MCR.
I recently remebered about artfight, it's happening in a little over a month. I'm really busy this year, so I'll maybe do at least one drawing, but idk, I might have to skip it completely. I did it for the first time last year and had a lot of fun with it. Apperantly there was a lot of drama surrounding th event, and the people who participated beforehand were talking about how much worse it was that year. I wasn't exposed to any social media posts about artfight that weren't explaing people's attitudes towards it on tiktok, so for me the event was really fun. I also recently remebered my old Steven Universe oc, I could draw them again, but IDK.
MCR uploaded a new video regarding the tour. I so fucking exited for it to happen, I'm not going to see them preform, but I'm fine with just seeing people post about the concerts. I actually had troubles with sleeping last night, so I opened my phone and saw that they posted, and the video was enough to calm me down and help me go to sleep. Thanks Gerard :)
I have end of year exams soon. I revise as much as I can, but sadly today I had a day where I could not do it that much. I can't wait for them to be over so I could to fun things again. I really want to make this site more pretty, seeing other people's site made me realise that I'm boring as fuck need to cool asethetic or something. Plan is to structure the layout of the home part of the site, then make it look cool, and then use a similar look for other parts.